Okay, so I’ve never actually read the book Sloppy Firsts, but I like the name. I saw it at a bookstore one time and thought, “Yeah! You know what? Firsts ARE sloppy. Thank God someone is admitting it.”
My life right now is full of firsts. Last year was my first cross-country move and my first year of college, and as I type this I’m sitting on a plane taking me to New York City, where I’ll live on my own for the first time and work at my first internship.
I had a vision when I was younger about what this time in my life would look like. In many ways, my vision is coming true: I’m at a great school studying what I’m passionate about, I’m moving into an apartment of my own, and I’m currently careening toward eight weeks in New York City for a dream internship at a magazine I’ve idolized since I was a little kid.
What I didn’t know in the days when I visualized these firsts was how sloppy they’d really be.
Life is consistently less streamlined than I expect. For instance, I thought I would wake up today and glide through the airport like a calm, collected adult. No hiccups. No freakouts.
But that’s not what happens in the real world, guys, not when your two gigantic suitcases are overweight and you’re pretty sure one of them is going to burst if it hasn’t already; not when your second flight is delayed six hours; not when you forget you stopped eating Chinese food and accidentally give yourself an MSG migraine.
But you know what? I’m actually doing okay. I’m handling it. I found some bungee cords and (hopefully) saved my suitcase. I put on my big girl pants at the airline counter and asked to be put on a different flight to New York. I even found some Advil in my purse.
Maybe growing up isn’t about making life less sloppy; it’s about learning to handle the sloppy moments. Maybe firsts have to be sloppy so that the seconds can be better. Maybe I should give myself more credit.
This blog is going to be about my firsts. Hopefully, documenting this time in my life will make the transitions a little smoother. Maybe my doing so will make someone more confident about her own firsts.
My first day at domino starts in less than 48 hours. Wish me luck!